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Joey

Yeah, me too. Only thing is, that post got zapped because it had two links to song downloads in it. You know, because you were likely, for example, to buy a two-minute skit about counting money made by an obscure Alabama rap group, and we just couldn't deprive anyone of all those sales. And, you know, because only certain websites are allowed to post music links, apparently. (Don't get it twisted: I ain't got no quarrel with them.)

UPDATE: ~~Anyway...Bummer.~~

My man smokeYYY salvaged the post from the dustbin of history thanks to Google Reader. BIG UP! So below, please find the original post, with the download links removed. *wipes his brow*

Below, the year's best songs. But first, a few awards:

Best Crazy Song by a Crazy Person - Cam'ron, "Bottom of the Pussy Hole"
Was there ever any doubt about which song would win this award? The title and the Alexyss Tylor samples (NOT AT ALL SAFE FOR WORK. OR ANYONE, PROBABLY. AND NOTE THAT SHE'S TALKING TO HER MOTHER), alone, had this award locked up before Cam even said a word. Just a towering monument to Cameron Giles's mental illness.

Second Best Crazy Song by a Crazy Person - R. Kelly, "Screamer"
I think this song, a graphic paean to loud sex, flew under the radar. Somehow. In a year when R. Kelly's sexual predilections were again a news story. With lyrics like "Pulling on her hair/Grabbing her neck/She give me full control/The utmost respect" and a chorus that is simply, and boastfully, "Shorty is a screamer," this pretty much spoke for itself. Classic Kels.

Third Best Crazy Song by a Crazy Person - Prodigy, "Veterans Memorial, Pt. 2"
Choosing Prodigy's best crazy song is a little like choosing LeBron's best dunk--they're all pretty spectacular, and it mostly comes down to personal preference. I like this one because the beat is strong, the rapping is comically shitty (see here), and there is a mournful drifting sense that perfectly matches the Disgraced P way of life.

Best Song That Lost Its Momentum and Came to Annoy Me - Snoop Dogg, "Cool"
The whole retro-Prince-Cameo thing lost steam pretty quickly. It was fun for a minute.

Best Song That Sampled the Karate Kid Score - G-Side, "One Stack"
Images of Miyagi and Daniel and Sato danced in my head every time I heard this. So naturally, I couldn't stop playing it. Also doubles as skit of the year, for the same reasons. Best Skit was a pretty weak category this year, given that Cam'ron didn't put out a record.

Best Song That Master P Would Make Were He Clowning Himself - Plies ft. Ne-Yo, "Bust It, Baby, Pt. 2"
For roughly three months, I actually thought this was Master P trying to capitalize on the whole T-Wayne movement by reinventing himself as some sing-song rapper. Nope, it wasn't a joke. Maybe that quote should be appended to cover art for future pressings of this single...

Best Song Featuring Singing by Fungible R&B Crooners - TIE: Pete Rock ft. Rell, "That's What I am Talking About"; Ace Hood ft. Trey Stylez, "Ride or Die"
Pete Rock is a god behind the boards and something less than that on the mic. "Talking About" is a fine demonstration of this circumstance. Luckily, his ear for music gave us Rell's soulful stylings, creating one of the more relaxing vibes of the year. This is a fairly lush song. Luckily for Rell, he probably got a pay check.

Now, about Ace Hood--when I first moved to St. Louis, it was 100 degrees every day and my apartment came together slowly. Among the first things I owned were a television and cable service that carried my beloved MTV Jams. I would sweat through each night assembling furniture, waiting for my new computer, and listening to MTV Jams as I worked. All MTV Jams would play at night were blocks of videos featuring some combination of T-Pain, Ricky Rowss, Akon, Lil' Wayne, Ace, and mental midget DJ Khaled. Were that not enough, the interview segments interspersed among the videos all featured Ace and Khaled. If we are judged by the company we keep, then Ace failed the test, because Khaled is a complete moron with no worth. The world would be a better place if he stopped making "music" and ruining said "music" with his whiny yelling. So that's how I first heard of Ace. Not good. Then I heard "Out Here Grindin'," Khaled's unholy orgy of all that ails rap music. It may be the most offensive posse cut of all time. And after hearing Ace spit on it, I was convinced that he, Lil' Boosie, and Plies all have the same learning disability. They may each be autistic, actually.

Sadly, I couldn't shake Ace. The radio stations in St. Louis are really into him for reasons that escape me but are simultaneously part and parcel of the Missouri experience. So every morning, during those drive-time mixes that rap radio will play, I hear Trey Stylez explaining that even though he's in the streets, we all know exactly what he does. And I have come to actually like his singing. *sigh*

Five Beats That Could Use Better Rapping:
1) Lil' Wayne, "Let the Beat Build"
Great beat. Monster. But then Wayne's annoying voice and self-conscious rhyming comes in to ruin it.

2) The Game, "Big Dreams"
Freeway flipped this nicely. The Clipse tried. It's a pretty powerful sound. But Game effs it up with some sloppy rhymes, an entire catalogue filled with thematically analogous efforts that are far better, name drops that are a stretch even for him, and the misguided assurance that his bravado works on this track.

3) The Game ft. Lil' Wayne, "Red Magic"
This is fitting, isn't it? Numbers 1 and 2 combined to make...a bombastic melange of ripped-off music and masturbatory rapping. A cool sonic composition, really, but it falls short.

4) Q da Kid, "On a Mission"
Another ambitious soundscape fumbled by very run-of-the-mill rapping and a pretty grating chorus.

5) Skyzoo ft. Sha Stimuli and ESSO, "My City"
The cinematic strings and the boom-bap drums are dope. So is the intention: no one appreciates riding for New York more than I do. But the trite NY-pride verses are pretty weak.

Worst Song of the Year That People Don't Call Him Out For Enough - Jay-Z, "Jockin' Jay-Z"
This was just horrible. The Run-DMC sample and the "Dirty Money" guitar riff were cool at first, but this beat is ultimately boring without standout rapping. And Jay delivers Kingdome Come-style throwaway bars. Just a total waste. "Why you still talkin' money shit...cuz I like money, bitch"? Single worst line of the year.

50 Best Songs of the Year

50) Skillz, "Sick"
Skillz will never make it big time. His album, Million Dollar Backpack, was the latest boring proof. But on any given verse, or any given song, he can bring it. He's smart, he has an engaging grasp of cultural history, and he can flow. Rides this beat nicely.

49) S.A.S. ft. Cam'ron, "Nothing Long" (Remix)
Generic drug and crime talk doesn't score many points in this precinct. But when it's set to this dramatic beat and delivered with ridiculous British accents, it takes on new value as entertainment, not just hip-hop music.

48) The Dream, "Rockin' That Thang"
This song just gets stuck in my head. Period. I like the synths. And it is always on in my mind. Maybe I am just going soft.

47) GLC ft. Kanye West, "Big Screen"
Speaking of synths, I like the soaring sound Kanye orchestrates on this track. And he actually raps on it. If only he'd done that on, you know, his own album. GLC is a good enough rapper. He's another one who will never really make it but is good for a verse or song or two. This spitting is pretty generic, but the beat really bathes the deliveries well.

46) LL Cool J ft. The Dream, "Baby"
LL's voice remains commanding (), and when it's set over this mid-tempo pop production, it makes him sound fresh. This was another track that just got stuck in my head a lot. And I like the line about cake in the second verse.

45) Kid CuDi, "Day N Nite"
I don't smoke weed with any regularity, but if I did, this is likely what I'd put on while getting high. What a nice little anthem for recreational drug users--spacey, light, easy.

44) Kidz in the Hall ft. Donnis and Chip tha Ripper, "Mr. Alladatshit"
One of those breezy tracks that you love to have on in the car. And a song made even better by the context surrounding it on The In Crowd, a great record (but that's for the albums post). Chip's voice is also pretty perfect for this beat. As is the way he hops on the track.

43) Ghostface Killah, "Ghostface X-Mas"
I just wrote about this song. Only from Ghostace.

42) The Cool Kids, "Action Figures"
So really, this song may have come out last year. It's hard to keep track when dealing with internets hype creations. But I'm including it because, well, it might have come out this year, and I certainly hadn't heard it earlier. I like the Cool Kids. I don't love them. But this tracks captures what they do well--throwback chemistry; a production style that is reminiscent of older hip-hop but has an updated edge; rapping that's slick and witty without being didactic. And they're fun: t-bones on top shelves--the steaks is high!

41) Murs, "I'm Innocent"
At least he's trying. Trying to say something without being a jerk. Trying to make hip-hop that suits his easy way with words. Trying to flip Honey Comb in a way that emits this quiet energy. It works for him.

40) Pete Rock ft. Jim Jones and Max B, "We Roll"
Jim Jones is a crappy rapper. We know this. He, I think, knows this. But still, this soft beat is just awesome. It's the sort of track that might be equally good as an instrumental.

39) AZ ft. Papoose, "Knowledge Is Freedom"
AZ can flow. Straight up. He is a master of assonance, and he's incredibly deft at moving from one chain of sounds to another without any clunky transitions. His breath control on this track, enhanced by studio production or not, is impressive. Really, he's just refreshing. AZ is a rapper's rapper in a lot of ways, and it comes through on this song. Pap is Pap--this over-the-top MC who never moderates his energy or his voice, who is nice but not that nice, and who, also, can really flow. As he, too, does on this track. They both go in (). And ever since "Shakey Dog," this Dells sample is nearly canonical.

38) Maino, "Hi Hater"
The song of New York's summer. Fun, energetic, something that the ladies could also get into. Most of these 15-minutes-of-fame songs can get pretty annoying, but months later, it remains an easy listen. And, as an avowed hater, I was pleased to hear a differing perspective on my lifestyle.

37) The P Brothers ft. Boss Money, "Cold World"
The lazy tempo, the sinister bass, the lonely piano loop. Bleak, grimey New York hip-hop, circa 1995. Period. Only it was made this year.

36) Royce da 5'9", "Watch Me Get This Money"
What a good year for Royce. His own studio album was the weakest part. But this song perfectly showcased his intensity and strong mic presence.

35) Mos Def, "Life in Marvelous Times"
Why hasn't Mos Def been making songs like this for the last decade? If he wants to be musical and smart and different, he could be all those things by making an album filled with this kind of stream-of-consciousness observation and modified poetry. Especially when it's all put over a score that has so many elements melded together to create such an emotionally heightened track. Mos, nice work on this one. Keep it up.

34) Slim ft. Yung Joke, "So Fly"
Oh my god. Every time I was in the car this fall, this song was also there. And it was awesome. Subtly so awesome.

33) Alchemist ft. Blu, Evidence, and Kid CuDi, "Therapy"
I am not a huge Alchemist guy. I think he gets boring. But this song is kind of dope, and I don't think another producer would have thought to make it. It's good that he did. There is a sadness on this track that is very engaging, and that invites introspection akin to what you hear from the MCs.

32) Jay-Z ft. Santogold, "Brooklyn (Go Hard)"
Yeah, you know about this song. My favorite part is the Santogold bridge after the second verse. She's haunting and proud and defiant. That sounds like some corny, annoying Breihan shit, but that's what she brings.

Also, for the record, The Real killed this song:

Can't hear this song without thinking of an organic water store. So good.

31) Busta Rhymes, "Don't Touch Me"
An awesome harnessing of Busta's microphone essence.

And while I'm throwing up YouTube videos...

30) Ruste Juxx ft. Lil' Vic, "Get Up"
Sean P's buddy () explodes () on a track that is a certified banger. Rapping is mediocre, but the beat is unreal. One of the best production pieces of the year.

29) Young Jeezy ft. Kanye West, "Put On"
At first, this track didn't do much for me. Not least of all because Kanye's verse sucks. That sing-song rap and manipulative public mourning were an early sign that his record would be a disaster. But in spite of all that, "Put On" ultimately became a favorite song from 2008 due to the ease with which you could get into it at a club and Jeezy's assertiveness juxtaposed by a slightly manic aesthetic. This is, literally, the first Young Jeezy song I've ever enjoyed.

28) DJ Babu ft. MF Doom and Sean Price, "The Unexpected"
An MF Doom sighting! And, from what I can tell, it's the real deal. More amusing was Sean P getting in on the scattershot fun that Doom usually counts as his exclusive turf.

27) Jake One ft. Little Brother, "Bless the Child"
Now that Little Brother isn't really happening (*tear*), it's easy to forget that Phonte is one of the best rappers in the world. Even on a compilation record, he brings that realness and insight. It's refreshing.

26) Erykah Badu, "Honey"
Everyone loves this song, for good reason. She gets in this funky, easy groove.

25) David Banner ft. Chris Brown and Yung Joke, "Get Like Me"
Best video of the year. Barry Bonds, the Maloofs, that ugly Gucci vest of David's. Oh, and it was awesome to chant along with the chorus.

24) 88-Keys ft. Kanye West, "Stay Up (Viagra)"
There isn't enough intentional humor in hip-hop music, and when it comes along, it's important that we recognize and appreciate it. There are some genuinely funny lines on this track. The beat is jazzy smooth, too, and that was a standout in a year when so much music was synth driven or dedicated to Autotune insanity. It's easy to forget, now, that Kanye was the leader of the chipmunk soul movement back in, like, 2001, and that dude has a great ear for these softer beats.

23) DJ Benzi ft. Wale and Brother Ali, "2nd Time Around"
Brother Ali's verse on this track is just dope: real talk, delivered with lyrical precision and microphone swagger. He makes Wale sound weak by comparison, and while not his finest hour, Wale can rhyme.

22) Statik Selektah ft. Skyzoo, Talib Kweli, and Joell Ortiz, "Talkin' 'bout You (Ladies)"
Lots of good shit here: the cutting, the samples, the steady horn melody, the choral singing. And, of course, the chill love rap. Talib's verse is especially cool, the sort of whimsical reminiscence invited when you're into someone.

21) Ludacris ft. Common and Spike Lee, "Do the Right Thang"
Ludacris is conflicted. He makes records like Chicken-N-Beer that reduce women to commodities, and he makes songs like this, when he flexes his powers of observation and attempts to admonish his community to act right. Common, of course, is always up for that. They both do a good job with it here, though Com's verse is a little stilted. But nonetheless, a soulful, interesting song.

20) The Red Giants ft. Spec Boogie, Che Grand, and Tanya Morgan, "Never Seen a Thing"
Allow us, now, to shine some light on the less-heralded MCs who go to work each day, deliver tight verses, and perpetuate the elements of hip-hop that make rap music so good. Playing with words and sounds, brags and boasts, sample-heavy music--all here. All good.

19) The Roots, "The Show"
Black Thought kind of unloads on his second verse. And it's awesome. This is the kind of dark, ruminative Roots track that has become something of a specialty over the past few albums.

18) Q-Tip, "Gettin' Up"
Great song for a Saturday night.

17) Wale, "The Perfect Plan"
The go-go rhythm and the dense flows can make it easier, at times, to listen to Wale without really hearing him. You can just kind of bob your head along with the music and appreciate how his voice hits the instrumentation. But he actually has some stuff to say--not without ambivalence, of course--and he drops it all over without much fanfare or the kind of self-awareness that can lead to pretension. Makes him better than most other rappers.

16) Killer Mike, "Bang!"
No one destroys a track like Killer Mike when he gets furious and starts to take shots. That's what he does here. I can't begin to count the number of days that I had this on before class so that I could get focused. Yessir!

15) The Knux, "Cappuccino"
The bass line is dope. Dope. The funky melody makes it doper. And the rapping pulls it all together, creating one of the year's most infectious songs.

14) The Game ft. Keyshia Cole, "Game's Pain"
There is a certain class of rap music that can be best described as "Game songs." You hear a track with a solid beat, a tight flow, a little swagger, and an assortment of almost juvenile references, and you just know: this is a Game song. Even if it's not the Game who's rapping. In this case, he is, and this is a quintessential Game song. It's a formula that gets stale, and there are so many perversions of the better Game songs that it's hard to respect the good ones. But this one was among the better.

13) T.I., "I'm Illy"
My biggest surprise this year was how much I enjoyed T.I.'s album. I thought that for a while, he was wildly overrated, and I didn't like the overall sound he was coming with. But then Paper Traildropped and he sounded more mature. He seemed smarter. And the music, itself, was improved. "I'm Illy" might come second on the record, but it is, in effect, an announcement of the change.

12) 88-Keys, "Nice Guys Finish Last"
The beat on this track is just dope. Great energy.

11) Murs, "Better Than the Rest"
First, let's all agree that this song should have been on Murs for President. Second, let's all agree that quality songs came about when an MC sounds so comfortable riding a beat while showing off his wit and humor, all while not taking himself so seriously.

10) Wale ft. Bun B and Pusha T, "Back in the Go Go"
Melodic rap music has never sounded so good outside of a Roots studio. "Go Go" was rejuvenating in some ways: it served to introduce Wale to a wide(r) audience, it gave Bun B and Pusha T a new sound that worked for both, and it presented a musical element that you don't commonly hear from emerging acts. Also one of the livelier, more fun tracks of the year.

9) Nas, "N.I.G.G.E.R. (The Slave and the Master)"
The best song from an underwhelming album. Nas is smart on this record, mining details and pulling together a number of contemporary social issues. His words are given greater heft by the melancholy strings that serve as a haunting frame for this picture of suffering.

8) Kidz in the Hall ft. Black Milk and Guilty Simpson, "Middle of the Map, Pt. 2"
A rollicking good time. The beat is nuts, and Black Milk rips it.

7) The Roots ft. Saigon and Truck North, "Criminal"
Anger sounded really good on this track. There is a stereotype that "meaningful" rap songs, or perhaps "conscious" rap songs, have to encompass lifting people up, hating the government, and whatever else was in vogue among underground MC's back about ten years ago. But that strikes me as unfair--a theme among 2008's angrier, more perceptive songs was an attention to detail and an eschewing of calls for widespread social upheaval. Sometimes it can be more effective to just paint the picture and allow a listener to fill in some gaps.

6) Saigon ft. T-Pain, "Believe It"
This was the best T-Pain appearance of the year, without doubt. But that's secondary. The soaring beat and the dramatic synthesizers of the chorus were almost overpowering, however they were then tempered by the focused Saigon verses--which aspired to be more meaningful than they really were--and the steadily winding bass. Overall, a very enjoyable listening experience.

5) Ne-Yo, "Miss Independent"
Ne-Yo was sort of inescapable in 2008, and this was a key reason why. The melody is great, the synthesizers underneath the singing and the procussion create a fantastic tempo and feel, and the verse orchestration is silky. A truly "listenable" song, one that invited in an audience and gave it a little of everything. The hand claps, too, were a nice touch.

The trite conventions of mainstream culture created a narrative that was largely consumption driven. The woman was a boss, but so much of what made her stand out were her material assets--she owned her own home, she paid her own bills. In some ways, it sold this prototypical woman short, partially casting her strengths merely as the obviating of a need to take from a man. But it nonetheless allowed for the larger sense of a woman in control of herself. One who is confident in her own interests and capabilities, one who holds it all together while doing so with an outward grace and beauty. It was a nice thing to hear a song that allowed for a woman to do more than merely offer sex or take a man's money, and I think this aspect made it especially resonant. "Miss Independent" calls to mind a woman you can respect and appreciate. The sort whose innate abilities and competencies enhance her appeal and make her a complementary equal, not just some accessory.

*gets off soap box*

4) Elzhi ft. T3, "Save Ya"
...And then there's "Save Ya," a clever, well-rapped song with fantastic lines ("You got a figure that can change 'no' to 'maybe'") that is all about the sort of dependent women oft-maligned in hip-hop. Elzhi, another of the game's best MC's, kills this lush, soulful beat. And the song even overcomes T3 saying "unsatiable," which is not actually a word. Not that anyone in hip-hop has cared about that before.

3) Black Milk, "Long Story Short"
The opening song from the year's best rap album (spoiler!). The layered production is great. The spacey drums are equally great. And Black Milk flows for days over all of it.

2) Big Boi ft. Raekwon and Andre 3000, "Royal Flush"
Another song everyone already knows all about, replete with a standout social lecture from uncle Andre.

1) Elzhi ft. Royce da 5'9", "Motown 25"
It took me half a listen to realize this song would be the best of the year. The drums are powerful. The melody is staggering. Black Milk *really* laced this joint. And the rapping--Jesu Christo! Elzhi and Royce abuse this track, unleashing a focused verbal fury that is not common. Detroit wins.

Albums list going up soon. As will a rundown of the visual media I consume.

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